I’ve been reading a lot of pretty mom blogs lately. You know, those blogs written by moms with shiny hair and actual fruit bowls on their tables? (Filled with fruit they actually eat.) The moms who have probably never told their preschooler “oh, bite me” as a rebuttal during an argument. (She won, by the way.) The moms who actually earn money from their writing? (Dirty accusing glare to all the people not reading this.)
And right now, all the pretty mom blogs are doing a “what I’m thankful for” post. All of which have some version of this sentence: “This year, perhaps more than any other year, it’s important to focus on what matters most in life and remember that we should be thankful for these things, not just on Thanksgiving day, but every day.”
However, they’re not wrong. This has been a rough year for all of us. So maybe it couldn’t hurt to focus on what really matters, even though it goes against the very most basic core of my entire personality.
And thus, I present, the 20 things I’m thankful for in 2020.
- My health. Which is good. Despite my body being composed mostly of coffee and whiskey.
- My husband and our two wonderful children. They mean everything to me. It’s so nice to have everyone home all the time, working and learning remotely. And I mean, all the time. All the time. ALL. THE. TIME. And even though the little one threatened to kill me the other day (it was veiled but it was definitely a death threat) we couldn’t be closer. So close. All the close.
- A roof over my head. And it doesn’t even leak. And below that roof are walls and floors. Filled with mice. City mice. Who will never leave because nothing scares them and they are much, much smarter than we are. Although I haven’t ruled out making them chip in for rent.
- My dog, Buffy. Who at 15 is alive and healthy(-ish) and still loves to go on walks. I know you’re expecting me to say something snarky here about him but honestly, what kind of monster makes fun of a beloved elderly dog that has been a constant companion and who has farts so rancid they make rotten eggs smell appetizing.
- Nature. Majestic, beautiful nature. So majestic and beautiful that I don’t even mind the mountains of Claritin I have to snort like cocaine every morning in order to step outside.
- Technology. For all it has done, especially during this pandemic, but mostly because it has allowed me to lock myself in the attic and have happy hour over Zoom with my friends while my children wail and bang on the door.
- Speaking of which, my friends, both near and far. All of whom don’t bat an eye when my humor goes to a dark, dark place.
- The sound of my children’s laughter.
- The sound of my children sleeping.
- The sound of my husband yelling at my children because they won’t listen to me.
- Did I say coffee yet?
- Food. Because it’s good. I don’t know. I’m losing steam. Twenty is a big number.
- Oh! Peace. That’s a thing that’s always on these lists, right?
- Deep fried stuffing balls. They are the best thing I’ve ever created in my life (my kids coming in at a really close second though).
- Alton Brown’s Thanksgiving turkey recipe.
- Alton Brown.
- Oceans. They’re super cool.
- That 2020 is slowly marching toward its death.
- All y’all. The ones who read these ridiculous things week after week. And on purpose, no less. Thank you, truly, from the bottom of the pit where my heart should be.