Tag Archives: tips to beat the heat

Tips to Beat the Heat (To Death)

Curl up in the fetal position in front of a fan and sob.

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Lose an obscene amount of weight so you have absolutely no body fat and are now one of those lollipop heads who wear fur coats in the summer.

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Make an altar to the air conditioning gods and pray regularly that there are no rolling blackouts.

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Drink alcohol until you can’t feel anything, even humidity.

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Get nekkid. Stay nekkid until October.

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Stick ice cubes down your pants by your no-no parts.

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