Things I planned to do this summer:
- Go to the beach as much as possible.
- Take my toddler to the Tiny Tot summer reading program at the library every Monday.
- Take a weekend trip to Maine.
- Sign my kid up for swimming lessons.
- Go camping.
- Go to the free sunrise yoga in the park.
- Wear sundresses and flowers in my hair.
- Drink a glass of wine on the back porch with my husband as the sun sets.
- Take the family to Movie Night in the Park and have a picnic while watching a family-friendly film.
- Get the air conditioner fixed.
- Go to the weekly farmer’s market for fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Make s’mores.
- Go to a Red Sox game.
- Attend at least one music festival.
What I’ve actually done this summer:
- Found my swimsuit bottoms from 1998 but no luck yet on finding the matching top.
- Went to the library exactly once only to realize it was Tuesday and Tuesday is the “Wild About Reading!” tweens reading program.
- Googled “weekend trips to Maine.”
- Googled “swimming lessons for toddlers.”
- Googled “camping sites that don’t have bugs or humidity” and survived five hours in my house with no power because of a blackout.
- Wore my yoga pants all day like I actually dragged my ass out of bed and went to sunrise yoga instead of watching “Sesame Street” in a comatose state while drinking a gallon of black coffee.
- Ponytail. Tank top. Flip flops. Every. Single. Day.
- Drank an entire bottle of wine on the back porch with my husband. Woke up hungover. Missed sunrise yoga yet again.
- Waited until toddler went to bed and then ate KFC on the living room floor while binge watching “Vikings.”
- Got air conditioner fixed (I’m lazy, not suicidal).
- Actually did make it to the farmer’s market a couple of times but left sporting not insignificant bruises from little old ladies who feel elbowing you out of the way of the asparagus is acceptable societal behavior. And it is acceptable societal behavior for them because who’s going to stop them? They’re ancient and yet slightly scary.
- Searched for bag of missing marshmallows for three days. Found approximately 43 half-eaten marshmallows under crib.
- Googled “Red Sox tickets.” Had heart attack.
- Listened to Wilco on vinyl while drinking overpriced coconut water mixed with vodka and snapping selfies (which is basically the same thing as actually going to a music festival).
Well, I guess there’s always next year.
On the bright side, pumpkin spice lattes will be available soon. Oh! And I have so many plans for this fall! I want to go hiking and drink in a beer garden while wearing a cozy sweater featuring an ironic bunny and make homemade apple cider and sew my own Halloween costume (a.k.a. tell my mom want I want and make her sew it) and bring the baby to a pumpkin patch and…