Tag Archives: how to pack for spring break when you're 40

Packing for spring break when you’re 20 vs when you’re 40

When you’re 20:

Bikini that requires extensive de-hairing techniques

Giant bottle of baby oil 

1 sundress, 2 tank tops, shorts with university logo 

Impractical wedge sandal

Makeup box that holds approximately 37 pounds of makeup

Cute purse that is big enough to hold 4 wine coolers

Toothbrush

When you’re 40:

1920’s-style swimsuit so you can do the “lazy” shave

4 kinds of sunscreen

3 giant old lady hats, because you now have a sun allergy

3 Morticia-level beach coverups because you now have to get your moles checked out twice a year by a dermatologist

Giant tub of soothing lotion for when you DO break out into your sun allergy rash even though the lotion really doesn’t do anything

Flip flops you bought 7(?) years ago

Sunglasses that cover two-thirds of your face

1 bottle of Aleve

1 bottle of Ibuprofen

1 bottle of Tylenol

Claritin for seasonal allergies

Benadryl in case the Claritin needs backup

Pepto because any sip of water that is not from your specific area code now gives you diarrhea for some reason 

Tums in case the Pepto needs back up

1 tube of that long-lasting red lipstick that you have to reapply every day because you have yet to find a makeup remover that can actually remove it

Giant purse that can hold four bottles of wine, two bottles of the medium affordable whiskey and a wide variety of snacks in case anyone gets hungry (also holds bandaids, giant tub of hand sanitizer and three sticks your 5-year-old asked you to carry for her last time you went to the park)

Extra plastic baggies because you never know when they could come in handy

Expensive electric toothbrush, regular floss, waterpiks, mouthwash, tongue scraper, dry mouth lozenges recommended by your dentist