Tag Archives: boston weekly dig

Suck it, Dickinson

I am no poet.

In fact, despite a few faux teen angsty attempts (chock full of delightful phrases such as “my black soul mirrored in my black stained tears”), I came to the conclusion rather early that I really, really, really hate poetry. In fact, I have a pretty unhealthy hatred toward Emily Dickinson thanks to being forced to spend one entire semester with her.

That said, however, I am wicked awesome at parodying poems. In fact, in some circles (my dog and my husband…but he’s kind of on the fence) I’m considered the Weird Al of poem parodies.

For instance, I once had to cover Black Friday a few years back for a newspaper assignment. You know the only thing worse than trying to shop on Black Friday? Trying to get people who are trying to shop on Black Friday to talk to you for a newspaper article.

I was lucky I wasn’t murdered with a 40 percent off flat screen.

But I decided to make the best of it and turned it into “Twas the Morning of Black Friday.”

Granted, for all my parodying skills, I’m not necessarily super creative. So when I wanted to celebrate tomorrow being the first day of fall, I wrote “Twas the Night Before Autumn” for Boston’s Weekly Dig.

But I thought I’d share them with you anyway. And perhaps I’ll turn them into a trilogy. “Twas the Evening after Thanksgiving Dinner” sounds like it might have potential.

Happy first day of fall eve, everybody!



Boston: America’s Mean Girl

It’s not always easy coming up with new subjects to write about (it doesn’t help that my go-to cure for writer’s block is drinking beer).

But every once in awhile, something comes along that makes it just too easy. Like, say, two smartie pants from the University of Michigan doing a survey to find the top 50 meanest cities. And then giving the title of No. 1 big, bad meanie to my new city of Boston.

Considering gifts like this don’t happen very often (especially since Tom Cruise has apparently temporarily jumped off the crazy train) I jumped all over it in my latest Weekly Dig Post: The Trolley Trollop: Wicked Mean.

So read it. Or else I’ll send a bunch of Bostonians over to your house to give you a nuclear wedgie.