Tag Archives: Britain

Checkmate Kate, you won the king

First of all, let me start off by saying I was not one of those people who woke up at 4 a.m. to start watching coverage of the royal wedding.

It was 3 a.m.

Ha! I kid, I kid. Short of a national disaster and/or all-night bender, Momma doesn’t do anything at that ungodly hour.

However, when I finally did roll out of bed around 8, I will somewhat sheepishly admit that my eyes were glued to the TV. Now, I say sheepishly because originally I had planned to boycott this whole three-ring circus of Will and Kate.

I mean, all this week I’ve only been hearing one of two things:

1. News coverage and speculation over every possible aspect of this event (including so-called “experts” who would discuss the mysterious wedding dress, coming to enlightening conclusions, such as “it will be a dress” and “possibly white”).

2. People whining on Facebook and Twitter about all the news coverage and speculation over every possible aspect of this event.

Now prior to today, I was firmly in the latter camp. I just didn’t see what the big deal was. It’s not like these two will be our prince and princess. In fact, if I do recall any detail of my sophomore history class with Mr. Clayton (which ain’t much considering he made Ben Stein look downright manic), it’s that we fought our little American asses off so we wouldn’t have to celebrate crap like a royal wedding anymore.

Alas, maybe it was because I hadn’t had enough coffee yet therefore no energy to grab the remote that was five inches away, but I ended up getting sucked into it just like the 32 bah-jillion others around the world.

And I must admit, watching it made something stir even in the cold, cold recesses of the empty space where my heart should be.

Maybe it’s because Prince William and I are the same age and I grew up with him (metaphorically, of course, thanks to that completely unwarranted restraining order). And I used to daydream about marrying him (prior to the hair loss).

Or maybe because I remember watching the breaking news when his mom died and the impact her life and death had on the world. Or…(shudder)…maybe even I…(gag reflex)…like fairy tales just as much as…(pained swallow)…the next girl.

But I couldn’t stop watching. I even found myself clapping when they finally had their first kiss.

Jaded as I am, I found it moving.

Let’s face it. Here in America, we don’t have royalty. The closest thing we have are celebrities and thanks to reality TV, many of those celebrities are mildly disgusting and increasingly stupid. So instead of pomp and circumstance, and big theatrics, and national pride, we get Britney running off to Vegas for a 55-hour marriage followed by the epic love story involving a man who willing went around with the name K-Fed. Or Brad dumping Jen for Angie. Or two redneck teens from “Teen Mom 2” getting hitched. Or Tom Cruise turning Katie Holmes into some sort of weird robot wife with shiny hair.

Was the wedding over-exposed? You bet your tea and crumpets it was. But it was nice to see two young, yet mature, people in love and getting married in a manner that did not include a sweat suit with “Bachelorette” emblazoned on the butt.

And to see an entire country standing and cheering for them.

Because honestly, all we have to look forward to here in America is Snooki finally finding some guy to jump on that grenade ’til death (or herpes) do them part.