Tag Archives: celebrity

Checkmate Kate, you won the king

First of all, let me start off by saying I was not one of those people who woke up at 4 a.m. to start watching coverage of the royal wedding.

It was 3 a.m.

Ha! I kid, I kid. Short of a national disaster and/or all-night bender, Momma doesn’t do anything at that ungodly hour.

However, when I finally did roll out of bed around 8, I will somewhat sheepishly admit that my eyes were glued to the TV. Now, I say sheepishly because originally I had planned to boycott this whole three-ring circus of Will and Kate.

I mean, all this week I’ve only been hearing one of two things:

1. News coverage and speculation over every possible aspect of this event (including so-called “experts” who would discuss the mysterious wedding dress, coming to enlightening conclusions, such as ”it will be a dress” and “possibly white”).

2. People whining on Facebook and Twitter about all the news coverage and speculation over every possible aspect of this event.

Now prior to today, I was firmly in the latter camp. I just didn’t see what the big deal was. It’s not like these two will be our prince and princess. In fact, if I do recall any detail of my sophomore history class with Mr. Clayton (which ain’t much considering he made Ben Stein look downright manic), it’s that we fought our little American asses off so we wouldn’t have to celebrate crap like a royal wedding anymore.

Alas, maybe it was because I hadn’t had enough coffee yet therefore no energy to grab the remote that was five inches away, but I ended up getting sucked into it just like the 32 bah-jillion others around the world.

And I must admit, watching it made something stir even in the cold, cold recesses of the empty space where my heart should be.

Maybe it’s because Prince William and I are the same age and I grew up with him (metaphorically, of course, thanks to that completely unwarranted restraining order). And I used to daydream about marrying him (prior to the hair loss).

I want you, Aprill Brandon!

Or maybe because I remember watching the breaking news when his mom died and the impact her life and death had on the world. Or…(shudder)…maybe even I…(gag reflex)…like fairy tales just as much as…(pained swallow)…the next girl.

But I couldn’t stop watching. I even found myself clapping when they finally had their first kiss.

Jaded as I am, I found it moving.

Let’s face it. Here in America, we don’t have royalty. The closest thing we have are celebrities and thanks to reality TV, many of those celebrities are mildly disgusting and increasingly stupid. So instead of pomp and circumstance, and big theatrics, and national pride, we get Britney running off to Vegas for a 55-hour marriage followed by the epic love story involving a man who willing went around with the name K-Fed. Or Brad dumping Jen for Angie. Or two redneck teens from “Teen Mom 2″ getting hitched. Or Tom Cruise turning Katie Holmes into some sort of weird robot wife with shiny hair.

Was the wedding over-exposed? You bet your tea and crumpets it was. But it was nice to see two young, yet mature, people in love and getting married in a manner that did not include a sweat suit with ”Bachelorette” emblazoned on the butt.

And to see an entire country standing and cheering for them.

Because honestly, all we have to look forward to here in America is Snooki finally finding some guy to jump on that grenade ’til death (or herpes) do them part.

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My Wicked Awesome Celebrity Sighting

I’ll never forget my first brush with fame. I was just a mere girl of 16 or so, hanging out with my bestie at the hottest restaurant in town, Bob Evans (their biscuits and gravy were considered a culinary masterpiece by hungover patrons throughout the Mid-west). Our small town had just finished putting on the annual Country Concert, where actual famous musicians would schlep on out to the boonies to play a three-day outdoor festival for us sunburned and beer-chuggin’ small-town folk.

When low and behold, we looked over to our left and saw no other than Lynyrd Skynyrd sitting mere feet from us (at least one of who was an actual original member).

Naturally, we did what any two 16-year-old girls would do in our situation. We giggled incessantly and kept randomly yelling out “Free Bird!”

My next big celebrity sighting was actually as a reporter in Texas. Three Days Grace had come to town to play a show and I was the lucky one picked to interview the band. Naturally, I did what any 26-year-old professional would do. I giggled incessantly and kept randomly blurting out “Oh my God, you’re hot.”

But none of that compares to today, when I had my first Boston celebrity sighting. There I was, just walking down the street with my husband, deep in discussion over what season of Buffy was the best (it was season three, jackass, and you know it), when Mel, the Mel, that Mel, the one and only fanbase from “Flight of the Conchords” passed us.

Kristen Schaal as Mel on “Flight of the Conchords”

Naturally, I did what any almost 30-year-old cool, urban chick would do. I turned to my husband and incessantly stammered things like “Babe! Was that? It was, wasn’t it!?! Holy crap! That’s what’s-her-face from that show with the bird title! Oh man, what was her name? Valerie? Susan? Oh my god, this is so awesome! Julia? Penelope? Can you believe this? Man, I love that show! MEL! That was her name!”

Sadly, by the time I got my wits about me, Kristen Schaal (thank you, Google) was gone. I briefly contemplated running down the street yelling out “Mel!” in the hopes she’d stop and I could catch up and snap a photo with her (hello, most awesome Facebook profile pix ever). But my husband wrestled me to the ground and I was wearing my high-heeled boots that numb three-fourths of my toes anyway, so I reluctantly let her be.

But still, it was pretty awesome. And just another reason why I love Boston.

Of course, even with this newest sighting, I still can’t compete with my above-mentioned best friend, who at age 18 smoked a bong with Tracy Morgan.

But there’s still hope. I mean, this is Boston. Who knows who I’ll run into next?

(Prepare yourself, Affleck…and bring your bong).